June 12

When Parts Won’t Speak

Inner Child Work


One of the central components of regression-to-cause hypnosis is Parts Work.  Parts Work involves a process of facilitating a dialogue between different Parts of the client.  For example, the Inner Child Work of regression hypnotherapy involves a conversation between the Grownup Part and a Child Part of the client. 

Forgiveness Work involves a dialogue between the client and the person who hurt them in the past. So, dialoguing with different Parts of the client is central to the work of regression-to-cause hypnosis. 

But what if the Part isn’t willing to participate? 

What if the Child Part refuses to speak to the Grownup Part?  What do you do?

The three primary Parts we work with in regression hypnosis are:

  • The Child Part
  • The Adult or Grownup Part
  • Parent or Offender Parts

These are internal Parts of the client. 

The Child is a Feeling Part of the client.  So, this is the client’s younger self.  And they have many, many Inner Child Parts.

The Grownup Part is the Adult consciousness of the client.  This is the Part of them that is able to use thinking and reason and analysis to make sense of things.  This is an integral Part of the healing process of regression hypnotherapy.

Parent Parts and Offender Parts or “perpetrators” are other people who have contributed to the client’s issue.  These people have been internalized by the client.  They are internal representations based on specific experiences in the past. 

When you transform a Part, it changes how the client thinks, and feels, and behaves in their daily life.  But to create these changes, you need the cooperation of the Parts that are contributing to the problem.

When Parts aren’t willing to cooperate, there’s always a reason. 

It’s because there’s a block.  So, this is something that needs to be resolved to get a complete resolution of the problem. For example, let’s say the Child Part isn’t willing to communicate with the Grownup Part.  This shows you that there is an internal conflict. 

There’s a block. 

That block is a symptom of the client’s overall problem.  So, this is definitely something that needs to be resolved for the client to feel good about themselves.  But it can block you from doing the Inner Child Work.  So, you need to stop right there and deal with the resistance.  That’s what it is – resistance.

When you bump into resistance, you might be tempted to switch to a different technique.  But I wouldn’t recommend it.  This just gives the client permission to continue avoiding the real problem. And avoidance is always a major part of the problem. 

Just know that when you bump into resistance … you’re on the money.  That’s the next step – resolving that block.  So, grab the bull by the horns and focus on that feeling because, when there’s a block. there’s always a reason.  So, find out what that reason is. 

Regression hypnosis is all about getting to the WHY?

WHY does the Child not trust the Adult Part?  WHY is the Child unwilling to speak to the Grownup?  This will tell you what the next logical step needs to be in the healing process. 

Most of the time it comes down to safety.  Safety is the Subconscious Mind’s Prime Directive.  And its job is to protect.  So, most of the time, you’ll find the block has to do with fear. But you won’t know why there’s an issue until you ask the Child Part.

You need to find out “why” there’s a problem.

Sometimes the Child Part won’t talk to the Grownup Part because it is angry with Grownup.  This points to a problem of self-rejection, and self-blame.  This can generate self-punishing behaviors. 

Remember – the Child is a Part of the client.  So, the anger is being directed towards themselves.  They’re at odds with themselves.  They’re blocking themselves.  And they’re very likely punishing themselves because of it. 

Your job is to find out what happened to cause that anger. So, if it looks like there’s an anger issue, try using Stems Completion and have the Child say, “I WON’T speak to Grownup because …”  

This can be very empowering for a Child.  And if you give the Child permission to speak the truth of how it feels, it will trust you.  When a Part trust you, it will gladly tell you what the problem is.  So, this can reveal the underlying reason for that anger being there.

Children are seldom listened to. 

This can be a source of frustration and anger that gets turned inward.  So, once you identify what the grievance is, you need to do something with it.  The method you choose will depend on your training and what specific details you uncover.  But you have a basic choice of how to proceed.

You can either stay in the event and release the feelings – the fear, or the anger, or the sadness, or whatever feeling the Child is holding onto, and this will give the Child some relief, or you can bridge back off the feeling. 

You can regress back further to locate a time when the Child is still feeling safe, or loved, or when it’s okay to just be who she is and it’s safe to express how she feels.  So, this is a way to resource the client by giving the Child an experience of what she most needs. 

Once you’ve done that, you can find out what happened to cause the client to lose those good feelings.  And you’ll have a much more resourceful client for doing the Inner Child Work.

The Child is never the problem. 

Child Parts are feeling Parts.  And the feeling is never the problem.  It’s a Part of them that needs to heal. 

When you’re speaking to the Adult Conscious Mind, you need to make what you’re about to ask them to do reasonable.  So, before you invite the Adult Part in to speak to the Child, make sure that you have a Grownup who is willing to be there for the Child.

You need a Grownup who can be loving and accepting of the Child.  So, make sure that they’re ready to be there and support the Child.  Then tell the Adult Part of the client, “Inside of you are the words that the Child needs to hear to let go of that anger, or frustration, or fear, or whatever the feeling happens to be.” 

Tell them to find the words, then tell the Child what it most needs to hear.  These are the words the client most needs to hear.  So, let the client do the work.

One of the biggest temptations, when you're just starting out, is trying to make the client change. You can’t.  If you try, it can generate resistance.  And that will just add to the pressure.  So, relax. 

Make the client responsible for doing the work.

For any change to be real and lasting the change-work needs to be done by the client.  It’s their Mind.  So, let the client do the work because all healing is self-healing. 

You just can’t do it for them.  And you can’t make this stuff up.  You can coach the process.  You can offer suggestions.  But the words that will have the greatest impact on the Mind of the client will always come from the client. 

So that’s it. When Parts aren’t willing to communicate, it’s because there’s a block.  And when there’s a block, there’s always a reason.  So, find out why there’s a block. 

Something happened to cause that Part of the client to feel scared, or sad, or angry.  And it’s being brought to Conscious Awareness because it’s relevant to the client’s presenting issue.  It may even be the underlying cause. 

About the author 

Wendie Webber

With over thirty years of experience as a healing practitioner, Wendie brings a broad range of skills to her approach to regression to cause hypnosis. She combines a gentle, yet commanding way of presenting with a thorough, clear and systematic approach to helping healing practitioners to make sense of regression hypnotherapy.