September 26

Forgiveness: A Journey from Fear to Love

Therapeutic Forgiveness


I remember a TV program a few years back called “Quantum Leap.”  It communicated the concepts of quantum physics in very simple terms for the general public.

The story was about a scientist who gets trapped in his own experiment.  A blunder into uncontrolled time travel bounces the scientist from one event to another (providing weekly episodes).

The hero’s quest becomes finding the answer that will allow him to leap home (the season-ender).  It takes a while, but eventually the scientist comes to realize that he can’t leave the event until he has resolved something (the episode’s challenge).

He’s stuck until he can figure out what’s calling for healing.

What’s interesting is that, when he finally resolves the problem, it alters the course of history for the better.  Only then does the hero leap free of the event.  And into another (just in time for next weeks show, of course.)

Our hero is a slow-learner but eventually he figures something out …  the Universe is intelligent.  (Didn’t Einstein say that?) Each episode becomes a mission.  By accepting the Will of the Universe our hero seeks to discover his purpose for being in each event.  

Each time he hopes that this will be the event that finally sends him home. Sounds a lot like regression, doesn’t it? Bouncing around from one event to another in search of the causal event?

The Initial Sensitizing Event (ISE) is considered the causal event.  Subsequent Sensitizing Events (SSE) then serve to reinforce the pattern established in the ISE.  This concept is fundamental to regression-to-cause hypnosis.

My training in ISE/SSE theory helped me to understand how the Subconscious Mind can turn a molehill into a mountain.  It showed me in very black and white, logical, rational terms how repetition of a theme can reinforce certain mis-perceptions and fears.  And how these can become false beliefs.

Beliefs can really mess up (create) your reality.  

The problem is, the model I was taught illustrated how regression works in linear terms.  And time is not linear.  As far as the Subconscious Mind is concerned, it’s all still happening NOW.  The writers of Quantum Leap understood this.

In Quantum Leap, the viewer was invited to imagine time as a “ball of twine.”  The hero is leaping from one point of connection to another.  But it’s all still happening NOW.

Like that ball of twine,  the Subconscious mind is all balled up.  Memory is recorded, and can be accessed, randomly.  Not sequentially.  There are points of connections (through association).  And each point of connection holds an information-rich energetic event.  But what's at the core of the ball of twine?

That’s the question that was on Einstein’s mind.

Quantum Physics tells us that at the core of everything is an energy frequency or vibrational signature that defines it.  Doesn’t this sound a lot like the concept of “Source Energy”?

I believe that the energy at the core of each of us is essentially loving and that what each of us is seeking is, in one form or another, Love. So it makes sense to me what Sondra Ray wrote, “Love brings up everything unlike itself to be healed”.

Love brings up everything unlike itself to be healed. - Sondra Ray

Anything that conflicts with our Core Energy is going to feel bad.  That’s because anything that conflicts with our Core energy is going to generate dissonance with who we are.  So anything that feels unloving is going to be perceived as a threat to our well-being.  And that will generate discomfort. That’s the core work of Regression Hypnotherapy.

The goal of Regression Hypnotherapy is much-debated and that is whether or not not to seek out the Initial Sensitizing Event (ISE.)  After all, it’s the seed-planting event, right? But locating the ISE, while helpful, is not always necessary because the goal of healing is to return the client to the awareness of Love within them.

Stephen Parkhill, author of Answer Cancer, said there’s really only one ISE and that is the perception of separation from Source.  This is a concept introduced by A Course in Miracles (ACIM).

A Course in Miracles is a course in spiritual psychotherapy that provides a lot of useful guidelines for healing with the Mind.  (Parkhill recommended that his students read the 50 Principles of Miracles at the beginning of the text.)

The causal event is where the idea of separation occurred.  It’s a belief, however, not a reality.  We cannot separate from the Love because, according to ACIM, that is what we are.  

So what happened?

Nothing, actually.  One moment we were consciously aware of our connection to the source of safety, security, well-being, health, harmony, and “good”.  The next moment all hell broke lose and we disconnected from that awareness.  That’s it.

It’s all an event in the Mind. So, that’s where we must go to correct it.  The thing we feel most disconnected from is what’s causing us to seek it.  Pain is a signal that drives us to seek to reconnect with our ability to feel good, again.  

Forgiveness is a journey that often begins after years of carrying debilitating pain. It always gives strength, meaning, purpose, and a way home to oneself.  But the process of facilitating forgiveness has evolved for me, over the years.

My approach to therapeutic forgiveness used to be focused on making forgiveness reasonable.   Forgiveness Work used to be an exercise in re-framing a painful past experience so that the client could come to peace with it.

Now, forgiveness is a test.

The Forgiveness Work of regression hypnotherapy is merely a test because forgiveness is the healing.  It's when the client can find good in a previously distressing event that the healing has begun.  And when forgiveness happens, healing happens because the client has reconnected, to some degree,  with the Love.

Fear is the perception of threat.  Love is the perception of safety and security.  They cannot co-exist in the Mind.  So, restoring Love to a person’s awareness sets them free.

The Mind restored to a state of Love feels good.  So forgiveness doesn’t require reason because it feels good.  And the better the client feels the more in harmony they are with their Core Energy. This is often described by the client as “coming home to myself.”

“An yll wynde that blowth no man to good, men say.”

It’s been said that it’s an ill wind that doesn’t blow some good. The challenge for the client is to discover how the painful event might have benefited them.  

If there might have been a lesson for them, what might it have been?  How might those things have made them stronger?  Or wiser?  How might it fit with their path and purpose in life?

Finding the good is a learning or reprogramming process that has also been referred to as:

  • looking for the silver lining
  • finding the gifts in the garbage
  • looking on the bright side
  • finding the hidden treasure
  • discovering the pearl in the oyster

Find the love and you'll find the healing.

The greater the resonance with Love the deeper the release.  The deeper the release the more complete the healing.  So if the client has difficulty finding some good in a past event, there is something still calling for healing.

Leaving this unresolved is like leaving a bit of infection in an open wound. Eventually it will lead to a recurrence of symptoms.  So it’s important to get a thorough cleansing of the wound to ensure complete healing.

Sometimes the client just needs a little help to make sense of things so they can finally let go. This is where making forgiveness reasonable is reasonable.  More often, what’s required is further releasing. Releasing is what allows the Love to flow back into them fully. Healing with the Mind is about finding the Love.  Not trying to get rid of the symptoms.

During the dark ages it was believed that symptoms were caused by “evil spirits.”  The job of the physician was to “exorcise the demons”. Using the modern medical techniques of their time such as blood-letting and applying dung to open wounds, physicians were more likely to kill their patients than heal them. We’ve come a long ways, baybee …

Modern medicine still believes in evil spirits.  

Only now they’re called bacteria, viruses and mutating cells.  And the body, which was once the temple of the spirit, has become a battlefield. Don’t get me wrong . . . medicine ‘rocks’ when it comes to acute care.  If I’m busted up up from a car accident, I want a surgery, pain meds, and antibiotics.  No question!  But when it comes to chronic conditions of dis-ease, you’re not merely dealing with the flesh.

This is why medicine just doesn’t have a great track record dealing with chronic conditions (including viral). When medical interventions fail to resolve the problem patients are sentenced to symptom management.  And that’s when many people turn to hypnosis for help.

“Love is all you need.” – The Beatles

Can hypnosis help?

Yes.  But hypnosis, in and of itself, is not the source of healing.  The cause of healing is in the Mind of the client.  Hypnosis gives us access to the part of the Mind that can heal.

Whether you’re a Neurologist, or a Naturopath, or a Hypnotherapist, it all boils down to the same thing.  Carpentry. If all you’ve got is a hammer every problem looks remarkably like a nail.  

If you’re a pharmacologist you have developed a particular lens on dis-ease.  You see a drug deficiency because that’s your model of healing.  If you’re a surgeon the lens shows you a problem needing to be cut out.  That’s your model.  If you’re a psychiatrist your lens focuses on brain chemistry and shows you a mind running amok.

I don’t believe dis-ease is the body running amok.  I don’t believe the Mind is running amok, either.  I believe that the mind-body system is simply expressing an underlying belief.  And you can’t change a belief with drugs or surgery.

The client must decide to change it.

This doesn’t mean drugs and surgery are of no use.  A Course in Miracles suggests that any method a person chooses can effect a healing.  That’s because the method employed is not the cause of the healing. The cause of healing exists in the Mind of the client.  

Some people will be ‘cured’ with chemotherapy.  Just not by it.  Some people will be ‘cured’ with Hypnotherapy.  Just not by it.  The operative word is “with.”

Never underestimate the Power of the Mind.

The Course states that “healing is certain.”  BUT when healing is seen as a threat it will always stand aside.  Think about that.

Regardless of what methods are employed, without the client’s acceptance of healing, there will be no change. This is why there is no one pill that works for everyone.  It’s why no one diet works for everyone.  

It's why no single therapy works for everyone.  It’s because every client is uniquely different.  They may have all the same working parts physiologically. What makes them different is what’s going on in their Minds.  But no matter how great your technique or skill you cannot make a person heal.  

Not without their consent.  No one can.

What you can do is prepare them so they will allow the healing to happen.  You can make it safe for them to take one step closer to the Love.  And then another.

The Regression Hypnotherapy Prayer

I’m not a “churchy” person, but I did enjoy Sunday School as a child.  I loved the stories.  My Mind was free to find the good in those stories because I didn’t have to listen to someone else’s interpretation.

I remember a line from Psalms 23 … “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me … ”  

That, to me, is the Regression Hypnotherapy prayer.

As a healing practitioner YOU are the guide as the client makes their way through the shadowy territory of their Subconscious Mind.  You ask your client to let you guide them through their “Valley of the Shadows of Fear.”  You need their consent to do so.

Like the iceberg model, the mountain peak is the Conscious Mind.  The Valley is below the threshold of consciousness.  The Shadows within contain thoughts and feelings and memories the client is not fully aware of.  At least, not consciously.   And Fear is what holds them back.  It prevents them from finding the Love that would heal them.  So you ask them to trust the process ...

Healing is a journey through that valley.

The way through is to not resist feeling the bad feelings (evil).  Or, for that matter, the good feelings.  It’s to allow them to be a part of you and experience them fully because the Subconscious Mind is the realm of feelings.

You ask the client to let you guide them through all the dark and empty places.  So they can heal.  And as you lead them out of darkness and into the light you help them find meaning in the things that happened in the past.  So they can finally be free.

Forgiveness Work is a sacred work.  The process of guiding your client to forgive allows them to find strength, meaning, purpose, and wisdom in any life experience, no matter how painful. Not only will it increase a person’s resourcefulness, confidence, and self-esteem, it changes them at their Core.  And the more they forgive the more they give themselves permission to be who they are. 

In a world that has demanded that we be anything but who we are – this is a precious gift to give your clients.  Reconnecting with the Love – self love – will bring your clients home to their wholeness.

Forgiveness is the healing.

About the author 

Wendie Webber

With over thirty years of experience as a healing practitioner, Wendie brings a broad range of skills to her approach to regression to cause hypnosis. She combines a gentle, yet commanding way of presenting with a thorough, clear and systematic approach to helping healing practitioners to make sense of regression hypnotherapy.

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