September 13

EFT – What’s LOVE Got to Do with it?

Inner Child Work, Mind Body Healing


One of the most powerful statements a person can ever say to themselves is the EFT self-acceptance statement, "I deeply and completely love and accept myself".  This is not a suggestion you should use with every client.

The EFT self-acceptance statement is not appropriate for every client.  That’s because love means different things to different people.  LOVE can be a highly-charged word for some people.  Consciously we all know what "love" is.  But Subconsciously the word "love" can have an entirely different meaning than you might expect.  

If you ask your clients to say, "I love you" it could trigger internal conflict & resistance. It’s like the “GOD” word.

Like the God word, there can be real RESISTANCE to the love word.  That’s because, Subconsciously, love isn’t always going to be “warm and fuzzy.” Disney’s version of love isn’t necessarily a person’s subconscious interpretation.

Be forewarned: using the word “love” word prematurely in the healing process can actually work against you by triggering internal conflict for the client.

At the deepest level we all know what constitutes loving and unloving.   But what passed for love in childhood often conflicts with that.  And that has become the subconscious mind’s interpretation of what love IS. When love gets associated with pain, subconsciously, love becomes a threat. It's something to be avoided. 

Don’t assume that love is a good thing.  

If you do, you could end up making things worse. Love heals.  But it must be authentic for it to be healing.   If it isn’t, using the LOVE word is just going to stir things up and make things difficult for you.  

How do you know when to use the “love” word?

I never use the word “love” until after I have tested that it’s acceptable. I want to make sure that it has positive associations for the client before I start using it.  

You need to test, first. The way you can test the "love word" is to get the client into a scene with their Younger Self.  Then, find out how the client feels toward the Child.  

Find out if there is any love for the Child.

Sometimes the Adult rejects the Child.  That's a problem because, to do the Inner Child Work, you need a Grownup who can be present and loving toward the Child. 

Here’s a simple test for love.

First, ask the Grownup to look at the Child and notice how they feel toward the Child. 

Then, ask them to do an assessment.  Is that Child love-able?  

That’s it.  But this is important.  The answer to that question is in how it feels.  It should feel good.  If the Grownup doesn’t have warm feelings for the Child, there’s a block.  

That block is preventing them from loving themselves.  You need to address that before you go any further.  If you don’t, you’re going to have problems.

It needs to be true.  

When the client says, “I love you” to the Child, it needs to be authentic. It need to be a statement of truth.  So, if the client says that the Child is love-able, encourage them to feel the Love as they speak the words, "I love and accept you."  This makes it real.

When the client feels the love while saying the self-acceptance phrase, they are speaking the truth and expressing an authentic feeling.  They are experiencing the love.  And because they are saying this to themselves, they are allowing themselves to receive the love.  Cool, right?

“I deeply and completely love and accept you.” 

These are the words the Child most needs to hear.  

The Inner Child is a Part of the client, so these are the words the client most needs to accept.  But it needs to be authentic.  It needs to come from the heart because it's the love that heals. So, after the client says those words, have them pause and notice how they feel inside.  

Then ask, “How did it feel to say those words?”  It should feel good.  

If it feels good, every time they say it to themselves, they will feel better and better.  This is the power of compounding. Compounding is the process of repeating a suggestion over and over again.  This  reinforces the power of the idea.  But it only works when it’s true.  This is why it's so important to test to make sure the statement feels true.

Is it True?

These three steps allow you to establish that there is love within the client, which can then be given to their innermost Child. Giving it to the Child should feel good - really good.

  1. “As you look at the Child notice how you feel.”
  2. “Is that Child love-able?”
  3. “How did it feel to say those words?”

This changes things for the better.

The things a person says to themselves about themselves influences how they feel, think, and behave.  When we use autosuggestion in a session, we’re establishing self-talk that is positive.  This changes things for the better.

Remember, the Child is a Part of the Client.  The Child is just a younger version of the client.  What they are saying to the Child, they are also telling themselves.

Changing one Part changes the whole because all Parts of a person are connected.  Even Parts that are not present are listening in.  This means that all Parts are benefiting from the process. So, find the love.   Then, have the client deliver it to the Part that needs it most.

As you can see, love is a tricky word.  To use it you must first find it.  Then make it okay for the client to feel it.  Fully.

When love is okay you can use the EFT self-acceptance phrase with good effect.  And when it feels good compound the daylights out of it.

“I deeply and completely love and accept you/myself” is a suggestion you want to get in powerfully.  It’s a thought and a feeling that can truly transform a person’s life.  When used correctly, this is the stuff of MIRACLES.

You now have a simple 3-step session strategy you can use in any regression session to assess whether or not LOVE is acceptable.  

Remember, if it's NOT acceptable, don't try to use it.  Instead, take the steps necessary to make it acceptable.  Do that and you’ll witness rapid transformation.

1. Find the love.

Make sure there’s some love present to begin with.  If there isn’t then the Child is not acceptable.  That’s the problem you need to address first. Resolve that problem first, and all the other issues will be much easier to deal with.  Get the love in there, first.  It will make your job so much easier!

2. Feel the love.

Encourage the client to feel the love that's there.  Reinforce this experience of love powerfully.  Use repetition.  And use autosuggestion because it’s much more powerful when the client says it to themselves.  When what the client is saying feels true, autosuggestion carries much more weight than direct suggestion.

3. Reinforce the love.

Make the suggestion adamant by generalizing that loving response.   You can ripple it throughout the client’s whole mind-body energy system.  You can ripple it forwards and backwards in time.  You can even give the client homework to reinforce their good feelings towards themselves. For example, you can give your clients tapping as homework.  Or get them to look in the mirror and say those words to themselves. “I love you.  I accept you.”  You can assign a bedtime routine where the client imagines their Inner Child and says, “Goodnight Little One. I love you.  I accept you.”  

Isn’t that nice?

When heart-felt,  these words can create miracles in the minds of our clients. And they can help you, too.  “I deeply and completely love and accept you” really are the most powerful words a person can say to themselves in the privacy of their own mind.  So, remember to say these words to yourself, as well.

Learn how to facilitate the Inner Child Work of regression hypnotherapy expertly.

Get the Ready for Regression Complete First Session course.  This course is jam-packed with the information you need to make regression happen easily!

SUPERB! There is SO much in-depth information within this course!

Ellah Jayne Hypnotherapist

SUPERB! There is SO much in-depth information within this course! I've gained a much higher understanding of the Regression process and keys to facilitating the 'set-up' for an astounding session. SUPER straight-forward and worth re-watching as it is packed full of value! Much gratitude for your offerings and valuable contribution! xx

About the author 

Wendie Webber

With over thirty years of experience as a healing practitioner, Wendie brings a broad range of skills to her approach to regression to cause hypnosis. She combines a gentle, yet commanding way of presenting with a thorough, clear and systematic approach to helping healing practitioners to make sense of regression hypnotherapy.